Chapter 3 – Know This When Looking Up

The skies are beautiful.  Often full of amazing flying creatures and human-devised agile transports.  And this is where the previously mentioned starship fits in.  See, the government is constantly developing faster and more innovative aircraft and spacecraft (at great expense to the taxpayer).  And this delivers fierce dangers into the face of every test pilot and any nearby non-pilots.

We really should keep in mind that gravity can bring things down on top of us.  Especially objects similar to rapidly moving starships that use this weakest (but strong to us) of the four cosmic forces along with their own immensely powerful supersonic engines.  In case you don’t remember, the other three among the laws of physics are electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force and the weak nuclear force.  Such knowledge should have been a ready concern for Jimbo “Renegade” Longstreet Carter.  He was traveling at high speed, while being inebriated, through the downtown roads of Atlanta, in particular the non-short ones.  He was a race car driver who’d driven while out of his mind many times before without a single crash (except for that one time in Venezuela during their annual Party-Party-Drive-Drive Like Your Clinically Manic Festival….I don’t know what it’s called in Spanish).  While he was not looking above his car, which was the whole time since it wasn’t a convertible, the starship zoomed low within five feet of his ceiling, spun around, dipped, twirled, inverted and performed other aerobatic aerial movements.  This wouldn’t have been a big problem, other than what happens when one attempts to pull off these maneuvers at 6,734 miles per hour – precise throttle controls don’t always prove exactly cooperative with what the pilot might want to happen when seeking to move it back toward higher elevations.  Thus, the starship unexpectedly dropped right in front of Jimbo’s front windshield before abruptly taking off into the stratosphere over the metropolitan area.  If you don’t remember some of the relevant info from science class, that part of the sky, not only over Atlanta, but also around the world, is the second major layer of atmosphere 30,000–40,000 feet and 6–8 miles from the Earth’s ground level.

When a white Lamborghini Gallardo crashed into the front room of The Wandering Elephant restaurant, I thought this could be my way of avoiding the Marta train ride home (not to mention having to walk an incredibly long way, if one was feeling lazy, such as the fifteen minutes that it would require).  So, I told Jimbo that I wouldn’t act as a witness to the car accident if he’d call an extra fancy limo to take me home.  He was convinced that this was a good trade once I decided to display some of my medieval magical powers in front of him briefly (I learned a lot in 2012 from ABC television’s “Once Upon A Time” and BBC’s “Merlin).  I waived my hand with pizzaz, said “Supawondadupa!”, and immediately the restaurant repaired, time reversed and his car was back twenty miles away and thirty minutes earlier.  Instead of choosing to drive while finishing up a lot of alcohol at another restaurant in town, he was granted the opportunity to call a cab and use his Visa card to pay for my luxurious trip home in a red Bugatti Veyron stretch limousine.  If I’d thought about it then, I would have asked the driver to take me by Natasha’s neighborhood so I could show off and look uniquely splendid before her twinkly eyes.

I actually made most of that up just now.  I rode the Marta home, in truth.  I walked from the station to my home.  There weren’t any wild animals on the way this time.  I can’t remember what I did during the whole rest of the afternoon, but I know that I desperately wanted to take a nap, which I did between about 5:15 and 7:20, right before I had to leave for the sketch comedy show.  Before that, I was immersed in a texting conversation with Natasha, I think (it’s hard to recall my half awake activities).  I wanted to sleep so badly.  But, I also enjoyed getting to know her some more.  How mundane, huh?  Well, I can’t always be insanely exhilarating.

Keep reading.  It gets interesting in a minute.  Wait, it’s already so fantastic!  And, I want to say here, that Natasha’s beauty and dynamic personality came back into Andy’s mind even before the The Wandering Elephant car collision.  The beautiful women at that restaurant had reminded him of her.  How sentimental, right?  I do have a softer side.  It could also be my sensual side.  I’ll let you ponder that if you feel so inclined.  I digress.  For the first time in this logically coherent story, I digress.

And was that the world’s only starship and did it land here?  I don’t know on the first point and I’m sure it’s a solid no on the second.  It didn’t land.  I know that I explained that sufficiently above.  Were you listening?  I mean, were you reading closely?


Chapter 2 – Didn’t The World’s Only Starship Land Here? — THE SEQUEL

The older gentleman from the train stop actually lived on.  I didn’t exactly shoot him.  It’s more accurate to say that, instead of committing an act of callous destruction, I pressed the skip button my MP3 player and heard a different song.  But, does accuracy in reporting really matter?  I don’t know.

I do know that the Marta transport arrived soon after my landing at the bottom of the stairs, gracefully wandering past the older gentleman and sorta reclining upon the concrete platform next to the wooden bench.

Time continued to pass.

Babies were born.  Wars ended and peace treaties were signed.  New skirmishes and battles started elsewhere.  People all over the world shopped.  At Wal-Mart mostly.  Starbucks coffeehouses throughout the Atlanta area maintained their productivity and made sure that important drinks such as Caramel Apple Spice, Peppermint Hot Chocolate, Cafe Misto,  Caffè Vanilla Frappuccino Light Blended and Orange Mango Smoothies were all available for mass consumption.

Thus, I met Brian at the Midtown Marta station.  His blackish/blueish Jeep rolled into the tiny parking lot and I hopped in, noticing that his southern attire had in unison with that of so many white dudes in Georgia, Alabama, etc., the virtually identical styles that changed as fast as the line at the Department of Motor Vehicles.  But, that’s okay.  His hair was a standout.  It showed the originality of a person who……

Okay.  Not at all.  It looked about as original as……..look, it just wasn’t original.  You know, it was that bowl cut kind of thing.  His hair looked like 99,000 other people from outside the Atlanta perimeter and countless others inside.  The point is, Andy is sensitive about these things.  He an ex-Californian who lives under the impression and possible delusion that in that great state, people practice some form of distinction from each other, individualism even.  Andy can remember his high school experiences in Dothan, AL, where Brian is from (although they didn’t meet until junior college).  Andy was shocked to see that nearly everyone dressed the same.  It was as if the whole state of Alabama was one large private school with strict attire or a fraternity/sorority with a desperate urge to make all people fit into the same mold.  It seemed like the khaki pants with polo shirt fashion combination that he repeatedly witnessed had more in common with the buzz cut hairdos of the 1950s and early 1960s than anything truly worthy of the 1990s.

Oh, so, then Brian drove us to a nearby restaurant called The Wandering Elephant.  There, Andy and Brian were distracted by many, many desirable young women.  Brian mentioned that “Hey, this is where you should hang out”, meaning that since Andy wasn’t married, he should be scouting around this area for prey…………I mean, a suitable mate.  Brian is actually quite harmless and docile, as far from a  “player” as possible.  He was just making a playful statement.  However, Andy was mesmerized by the seemingly infinite eye candy, thus forgetting all about Natasha.

What’s the deal with the title above, anyway?  This story has nothing to do with the question of “Didn’t The World’s Only Starship Land Here?”

Chapter 1 – My various adventures this weekend

Well, since you asked……..

I got up on Saturday, after not getting more than four hours of sleep.  I’m still tired today!  But, it was worth it for sure.

(I had to get up today for my book class.  It starts at 9:30.  So, my alarm was set to 8:00.  I had been up late socializing at after the sketch comedy show………and then had got groceries on my way home.   I didn’t lay down until about 1 AM.)

Anyway, as I made the long, long, long, long trek on foot (fifteen minutes) to the Marta train station on Saturday morning, in the cold wet climate, while avoiding saber-tooth tigers and spastic lemurs dressed elaborately like people from 19th century France trying to kidnap me and telemarketers calling on my recently unreliable cell phone and a strange lady walking her twelve and a half foot tall dog, I began to think of the night before.  What a flirt that visitor had been.  She portrayed herself as so innocent and platonic and friendly and inquisitive…………and she was all of those things.  But she was more, much more, than that.  This visit was a fireball of mission.  And it succeeded.  I was hooked.

And I wanted to be hooked.  By her.

She’s a special lady.  And so hot.

Her mind is always curious.  And so is mine.  One more thing we have in common.

Again, as I was saying, like the “Anyway” above, once I got to Marta, I charged $5 on my Marta card and walked through the small electronic gate that was second from left.  Wait.  I didn’t tell you about how the kiosk payment machine wasn’t working.  See, there are four terminals available for use in loading money onto a Marta Breeze card.  I was using the one on the far left and another guy was on the unit second from the right.  I slid my card where I was supposed to and the computer screen froze.  So, I switched to the one just to the right.  At the same time, the other guy had used his card, got the same result and moved on to the kiosk on the far right.  Then, both of the screens on the previous locations unfroze.  They made beeping sounds simultaneously that signaled the system would automatically log out.  But, we both ignored this and remained stationed in our new positions.  I smiled and tried to see if he was equally amused.  Nope.

Maybe you didn’t want this kind of detail?

But, it’s all true.  No funny stuff.  Really.  And so is what comes next.  Or most of it is true.  Almost all of it below.  Except for one part.  Yet, I don’t think I should indicate at this point which section of the following paragraph should be overlooked when the reader is attempting to consider the content of this story.  I mean, isn’t my job as a storyteller to tell a story and not analyze it?

Okay, so once I was through the gate and had walked down the stairs toward the train line, I noticed a fifty-something year old guy was starring right at me.  I nodded my head as if to say hello.  He didn’t alter his gaze as my legs kept moving at a normal, calm pace.  Even once I had passed him and leaned against a concrete platform next to a wooden bench, I glanced his way and……..he was still locked on to me.  So, I pulled out a gun and made sure that he died quickly.  The end.